Ok- it's way past my bed time, but I can't sleep. Lots on my mind and none of it really matters- no crisis, no immediate dangers- just a 10 year high school reunion in 4 weeks, the question of what I will be doing or living in a year, the house that on the market the real possibility I could be pregnant. In any case, I decided to go online and do random googles. Check out my high school reunion site - I added my info finally after sweating it since I first saw it about 2 weeks ago. It sounds like HS sucks for a lot of people, so I'm no different, I guess. It still sucks to think about how I was "moo-ed" at in the halls. Let's just say it's hasn't helped my self- esteem.

Anyways- enough whining! I googled 'how to blog'- (yeah I'm a dork)- but found this site- pretty cool for those of us without a general clue- me being one of them. One thing I found as I've read other blogs is I am not a picture person. What makes a person a "picture person"??? Is this a memo I missed back in jr high??? Is this what all the cool girls talked about in the halls?? I very rarely have a camera handy- and I hate what I look like in most pictures! Is there any hope for me?? Ok, now I'm whining again. Sometimes I think I need a therapist again. Yep- you heard me- I had a therapist for about once a month for 3.5 months- yeah, real long time. Ironic since one of the things I wanted to focus on was my inability to finish things...

I don't know what I need- personal trainer, nutritionist, life- coach- all of these people could probably do me some good-- I just need help in pushing myself. It's interesting when I was thinking about it, it seems I perform best when people tell me I can't do it. It's like when I'm at the gym and someone tells me "oh, don't worry- you CAN DO IT!" I give up so much easier than when I'm told, "you couldn't do this- it's past your abilities" etc. It's like I care about proving them wrong MORE than obtaining something for myself. (Who needs a therapist when you have a blog! :) )

Anyways-- its getting late kids-- I've getting up tomorrow for the gym (although I probably won't b/c I suck!!!!) (That was me giving myself my version of a pep talk :) )