Raising Jennifer

The other day I watched Raising Helen and for the first time reacted as Kate Hudson's character did while facing the choice to either raise kids or continue her fast- paced social whirlwind of a lifestyle. Although I am not a Manhattan fashion-ite like Ms. Kate (which, side note, should really look at settling down with Owen- hasn't he been through enough? She looks so much better being with him than her rock-n-roll ex, Chris Robinson) (also, 2nd side note- Kate is EXACTLY one month younger than me!!! She was born April 19th, 1979!! How crazy is that?? Ok- back to my point...) I enjoy having a full calendar. In any case, the movie sat heavy on my heart as I contemplate raising a child. I find the neatest, and at the same time perplexing, part is when I realize that I may one day be living for something beyond myself and beyond my needs and my wants...

For those keeping track, Kansas City, M(O!) is continuing to look like the strongest choice as to where Chris and I will move to in the near future. It's now all about getting my mother on board. This will be the first time one of her children will leave the nest we like to call Omaha. I know she'll get through it- my mom's a very strong person, but I want her to encourage me to go. Right now she's not there.

Today's sermon at Trinity was very poignant to Chris and I, although in different ways. The message was about spiritual maturity and it was about truly focusing on our spirit vs. the body or soul. It was about plugging in our spirit to the holy spirit and strengthening it beyond what our body (aka. the natural realm) or our soul (aka. our influences, personality, logic) is in us. HE talked a lot about faith- giving our questions about the future over to him and just having faith that it will work out. Of course for Chris, he took the message in over the question as to location and job choice and realized that having faith means the decision is not one Christ wants to 'keep' from us, but one he will make known to him, and give him peace about very soon. As for myself, it was about the choice to get off birth control and that although everything/ everyone tells me this is NOT the right time (upcoming new things in my life: 1. new location, 2. new job, 3. new home, 4. new level of income and all the concerns that come with it, 5. new circle of friends, 6. new/ first baby??????? 7. new locations of Target AND Bed Bath and Beyond!!!) Really--how much can one's system take?? I have to put my faith in Him and know that He sees my forever and is pleased.

I'm feeling much better than yesterday- I'm glad I vented, I'm glad I prayed! Today I woke up early and worked out (something I realized I had regretted to do for almost 2 1/2 weeks with travel and over-all pure laziness) and also had some incredibly productive meetings in the office. Hopefully the energy will continue- we are all so crazy busy!!

Today, I stepped into Hy-Vee and had to stop dead in my tracks-- in front of me were tables and tables of HALLOWEEN CANDY & DECOR!! Should I remind you it's only Aug. 21st??? Who buys this stuff this early??? Really!! I always seem to remember a Halloween years ago where the holiday was canceled due to 8 in. snow and ice on the ground. The storm had caused power lines to go down and lots of outages. To think right now it's about 94 with high humidity and we are discussing a holiday that could bring snow. The crazier thing is, that by the time Halloween is gone, Christmas will be in full swing! EEK! I refuse to think that far down the line-- seriously Hallmark let's take a breather in November, ok?

No title today-- this post doesn't deserve one. I feel beat up and mopey, like I just want to stay home and curl up in the fetal position. Nothing huge, just feel like nothing is going very easily for me and I want to feel sorry for myself. Lately I've noticed I'm taking too many short cuts in life- that I'm not willing to do the work when I should be more diligent- probably the reason things are coming back around and biting me in the ass. I can't seem to get up in the morning to make to the gym, and being self-indulgent and lazy. I don't need a vacation, frankly I don't know what I need. I just need to get over myself. Sometimes my normalcy turns to utmost boredom. I'm being random and I don't really care.

I pray things will start looking up. I pray I can get some motivation again- some honest to goodness excitement. Fall is coming, I love the chillier temps. We had a really bad storm come through and the temperature dropped 20+ degrees. That was nice.

Overall today sucked, but this is when people say the cliches like "tomorrow's a clean slate"- not so much since the same crap I left on my desk will still be there in the morning. Oh well- I appreciate the opportunity to rant.

the house that won't move

Like millions of Americans I have a house up for sale that will not move in this market. Today we had our third unsuccessful open house- and like the one before it, NO ONE came! I truly believe it's a waiting game. There are another 27 other houses up for sale in my neighborhood! We all look the same, we are all priced the same, we all have similar amenities (fences, landscaping, security systems, etc.) At some point someone will look at mine and like it the best. It's just nuts! The WORST part about it is that they are building and selling another 200 of them less than 5 MILES from us!!! I really should have bought an existing home.
Last night I saw some long lost friends at a party for my old roommate, Jill. It's funny, I look around and see a lot of things that have changed in us all and I see a lot that has not. It's hard not to miss the old days- but they don't come back when and how you want, so the point is to stay positive about the days and people you have in front of you. I really believe it you focus on the horizon, the right things will come into your path. It's when you start to look down that you will trip and fall.

On my way out of Chi-town

Just about to leave Chicago today and I'm very thankful I've had such a great week! Great connections, great experiences, great time--
Now it's back to the plane and eventually back home. I went around today and took photos of all the things I forgot to take pictures of all week since I had some time to kill. I'll have to upload them when I get home.
Last night we saw Natalie Cole (daughter of Nat King Cole)- it was a fantastic concert against a beautiful skyline. We all had a blast- Kathy Rosene and everyone from the CVB and neighboring hotels have really made this trip great for me!
Walking around Chicago, I firmly believe I am a city girl-- I love the hussle of people, the towering buildings, even the noise- what other people find annoying, I love. I'm definately going to come back here- a lot. Maybe next time I'll be able to afford it! ;)

Wicker Park

Today I threw caution to the wind as I made my way to Wicker Park here in Chicago. I grabbed the red line, transferred to the blue line and got off on Milwaukee and Division. My mother's advice in my head as I should have had a "buddy", I decided it was wrong of me, insulting of me, to sit in my hotel room all day. So, I took the advice of a great waitress and went to Wicker! The area was pretty cool- not as shiny as the downtown area, but I found this FANTASTIC middle eastern cafe and had a phenomenal hummus wrap then did some shopping at this gallery for local artists where the door dog had twice the voice as he did body weight.
I finally made my way back, probably going two to three blocks out of my way, but made it back safe. I hooked up with Kathy from our CVB, finding her among 5000 other convention attendees. It was truly like finding a needle in the hay stack! We went to the opening reception (which, side note, had go-go dancers! Where Vegas met w/ Chicago...) and then went to dinner.
I like the city- it's full of life- great people and TONS to do! In Omaha we get so excited about one or two things going on at the same time, that's how it is ALL the time in Chicago! I think I'll come back when I can afford it, though- now, at least where I'm staying, I don't think I could have afforded the hotel room.
By the was, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are somewhere in the city. She's filming a movie and he's back from jury duty... There's been sitings but no confirmation where they may be staying. (The local news is on this story and I am riveted ). In any case, they could be hiding behind flag poles for all I know- they are so small!
In any case, the convention starts tomorrow and I am really excited to see how this really goes with all of us from different hotels/ motivations. I truly hope we can unite in our front.

The new and the old

Tonight I'm sitting in a hotel room in Chicago reviewing the new and the old that have so far convened in my life. First, I'm in Chicago- that's new. Never visited the windy city and so far it's not too bad. After my flight I had the ride from hell to the hotel (I HATE taxi's-- I don't know what it is about them- I think it's the smell does it for me) but the driver HAD to go 80 mph then slam on the breaks every 4-5 seconds. If anyone has ever visited Jamaica, this was very similar to the ride from the airport to the resort-- both times, I felt every move in my stomach.

Also, I picked up dried dragon fruit at this great natural store: Trader Joe's-- kinda tastes like a very seedy raspberry- but they're big!

The old came with a phone call tonight- my old friend Julie is coming back to live in Omaha this week! She had been living in California since spring-- and it's going to be so great having her back home!! The Omaha young professional world hasn't felt the same without her!

Also there is the old feeling of being "husband-less"- Chris is in O'Neill, NE doing his rural rotation for the next two months. This Chicago trip is preventing me from seeing him this weekend, so that sucks. He witnessed the tornado that went through the area last night. He said it was really cool- but scary. Currently, our marriage is reduced to 4- minute phone calls, texting and emails since he does not have ANY cell service in O'Neill-- only pay phones on the highway and since he has the laptop, I can only text him. It's so sad...

Otherwise, all else is going well-- the KC area is looking more and more viable, now it's deciding on the group and ultimately, our time- line. I really want to nail it down, but I'm kinda glad we're not-- I don't want to feel like I'm leaving.

In any case, I'm focusing on the city of Chicago-- I'm really excited about finding out more. I love just walking around and discovering, and thanks to Terry for letting me borrow his laptop, I'll be able to report all of it here!

Elma Lee- finally at rest

This weekend we finally put my grandmother's ashes to the Missouri River, where she and my grandfather camped, fished, boated, and just enjoyed about 15+ years of their marriage. As a kid, I often went camping with them. I can still remember my cousins and I wondering all over the camp site- we'd find ourselves lost in the forested areas and then find new fields to triumph. We would swim as hard and as long as we could out into the river- and I remember thinking that the shore looked so close- how could we not reach it! I still remember getting caught up in the current one summer and getting pulled under water. My cousin Jason is accreditted for saving my life with a long branch, although my aunt argues it was actually her. (Let me tell you- I don't care how old you are, when you are near death, you remember the people around you.)

Boating down the river though on Sunday made me realize how far I'd come from any of those memories. Nothing looked familar to me. My father would point out areas, but I just could not place them. I think it had more to do that #1 I was looking at a shore line that was 10+ years more developed than I had ever remebered and #2 I was looking at these areas from the river, not from the shore line where the majority of my memories stem from- but still I was sad that I did not remember these areas like the others on the boat had.

Grandma passed away back in December of complications of a lifetime of cancers, heart issues and other ailments, but she was a speacial women- full of love and damn straight determination that her children, and her children's children would have a shot in life. My father and her would fight like I hope nobody would ever hear anyone fight, but he loved her and even on her deathbed, he stopped at nothing to give her the shot in life she tried to give him. She always gave me and my brother the benefit of the doubt and stood up for us when everyone else was putting us down. She loved us all and we will, and do, miss her very much.

How dare I keep you waiting!

Looking back, I can't believe it's been over a week since my last blog! I am very sorry for the lack of attention- Since getting back from St. Louis, it's been crazy--
St. Louis was fun- a larger city, but easy to get around in. I could see myself living there, but probably not my first choice. It's dirtier than I imagined and the city itself has had issues w/ growth/prosperity. A great place to visit though! We stayed downtown- a block from the Arch and two blocks from Busch Stadium where the Cardinals played both Friday and Saturday night- the coolest part though- phenominal fireworks after each game right below the arch!!! Chris and I were wandering around downtown the first night and missed most of them, but we had front row seats on the second night. Saturday we went to the St. Louis Museum of Art where a brand new exhibit featuring Nepoleon's luxuries were featured, then found a decent sushi restaurant where we ate while listening to forgotten 90's hits.

(BTW- I do have pictures- I took them solely to post them- but of course, I can't find the cords to download them!!! Did I mention I'm not a picture person...) UPDATE!! HERE THEY ARE!!!! :-)

Sunday we went to Belleville, IL- this is the area where another nurse anesthetist lives that works at the same hospital Chris is entertaining a position. The suburb is nice- has a cute little "Main Street" area with mom and pop shops and law offices. On our way out we decided to be completely spontanous and stop at a real estate office! This one is my favorite so far- but there are many more, I'm sure! I just love the older houses--

Ok, I have to talk about this- Sunday I saw an old friend of mine at the grocery store and I did not say hi. Now, I should back up... this girl was my BEST friend through most of college and infact we became roomates afterward. We did mostly everything together and although we were BFF's she dropped off the radar after we moved apart after a couple of years. Every once in awhile I would call her and we'd do something, or just chat, but it was always after I called- not her. After I got married, it got worse- I'd call and she'd not call back- email with no response. It was rediculus. Buy the time she got married, it was like she invited me to be a part of it out of obligation since she was my maid of honor. When I'd ask her why she didn't return a call, she'd say her husband deletes her messages without telling her. Anyways- I'm not sure if I did anything to piss her off or if this was just her way since it was me who opted to move out when we were roomates. I don't know, but it was weird seeing her again (it's been almost a year since we last talked). I debated whether to say hi, but decided it would just end up like it always did-- I'd put in the effort and eventually we'd lose connection again. Oh well-- I just had to tell someone.

St. Louis or Bust

Tomorrow morning we'll make our way to St. Louis, Mo- a great position for Chris popped up on the radar and while I've visited the area back in college, Chris has not. I called my friends at the Crowne Plaza in Downtown and got a room (working in the hospitality area does have it's perks)-- all that is left is a 7 1/2 hour drive!

Also, for those who just need to know- I got my 'friend' today! For most of my 12 years of menstrual cycles (side note: man- that's a long time!!!!) the occasion was not one that came with such relief (although there were a few times in college that I said some desperate prayers...) but this time, while, granted I am in a good place where having a child would not have been that big of an issue, it did make me evaluate the timing and financial implications of such an addition. All in all, I'm glad I'm not pregnant now, but do look forward to that next step- when ever, and where ever we take it.

Taking it with you

It's Monday after another fantastic weekend in the Big 'O'-- Friday was a golf outing with our Omaha Chamber of Commerce- Business on the Green. Trust me, I am no where near a pro golfer, probably not even rated as "good"- but I had fun. Then after the game (which started at 7am!) I loaded a golf cart with bottled waters, ice and 500 free passes to the CoCo Key Water Resort- still set to open Oct. 1 for those keeping track- and set off to promote! It was so much fun driving around, talking, laughing, drinking and smoking a cigar. Yep- I smoked a cigar which really caught some off guard. I don't do it a lot, and trust me- I still felt in my lungs this morning as I tried not to die in the gym. Every once in awhile I will partake.
Saturday was not so much fun, as I spent 8 hours in driving school. I got a well- deserved speeding ticket about 2 weeks ago (he clocked me at 80 in a 60- but knocked it down to 79 so that I could take this class...) The class itself could have been worse, but it was still pretty bad. I'll tell you, if this doesn't make you want to wear your safety belt, nothing will!
Saturday night was a blast with my friend, Megan- she came over with her bushels of corn and yummy salad veggies from the farmer's market. The night ended after 3 bottles of wine, a heartfelt talk about juvenile body image issues and a firm determination of which of my shoes were 'Marketing Shoes' vs. 'Accounting Shoes'. In any case, I drank way too much, again- but had a wonderful time doing it!
Sunday was filled with all the stuff we should have done Saturday but got the exciting news that someone actually want to live in my house!! We got a call that one of the couples that came through our open house wanted to put in an offer- too bad it was a sucky one- but we'll play ball. If it all works out though, we'll have to be OUT in TWO WEEKS!!! Crazy- but possible.

Chris and I talked more about where we'd both like to go once he is done- someday I'll put together the list of all the places we've thought seriously about-- it's a new one about every month. In reflecting about these past couple great weekends, I hope I can take a lot of them with me. I know I can't take the people, although I truly with I could, and I know I can't take the places, as great as they were- but I'll take with me the moments, the laughs and the experiences. I can only pray I have half as good of a time where ever I live, than I do in Omaha.

PS. For those staying tuned- I took and failed another pregnancy test- but still no sign of my 'friend'. This whole 'God's will' thing is kinda scary!

Ok- it's way past my bed time, but I can't sleep. Lots on my mind and none of it really matters- no crisis, no immediate dangers- just a 10 year high school reunion in 4 weeks, the question of what I will be doing or living in a year, the house that on the market the real possibility I could be pregnant. In any case, I decided to go online and do random googles. Check out my high school reunion site - I added my info finally after sweating it since I first saw it about 2 weeks ago. It sounds like HS sucks for a lot of people, so I'm no different, I guess. It still sucks to think about how I was "moo-ed" at in the halls. Let's just say it's hasn't helped my self- esteem.

Anyways- enough whining! I googled 'how to blog'- (yeah I'm a dork)- but found this site- pretty cool for those of us without a general clue- me being one of them. One thing I found as I've read other blogs is I am not a picture person. What makes a person a "picture person"??? Is this a memo I missed back in jr high??? Is this what all the cool girls talked about in the halls?? I very rarely have a camera handy- and I hate what I look like in most pictures! Is there any hope for me?? Ok, now I'm whining again. Sometimes I think I need a therapist again. Yep- you heard me- I had a therapist for about once a month for 3.5 months- yeah, real long time. Ironic since one of the things I wanted to focus on was my inability to finish things...

I don't know what I need- personal trainer, nutritionist, life- coach- all of these people could probably do me some good-- I just need help in pushing myself. It's interesting when I was thinking about it, it seems I perform best when people tell me I can't do it. It's like when I'm at the gym and someone tells me "oh, don't worry- you CAN DO IT!" I give up so much easier than when I'm told, "you couldn't do this- it's past your abilities" etc. It's like I care about proving them wrong MORE than obtaining something for myself. (Who needs a therapist when you have a blog! :) )

Anyways-- its getting late kids-- I've getting up tomorrow for the gym (although I probably won't b/c I suck!!!!) (That was me giving myself my version of a pep talk :) )

Weekend in Omaha

This weekend was fantastic- a great relief! Friday, Chris and I had sushi at our favorite restaurant, Hiro with our favorite sushi friends- Fred and Shantae, then we joined my friend Anna for her roof- top B-Day party atop the Ford Building Condos and laughed it up until 2am with a few folks from the press world. It was comforting to know that although I am an "old married woman", I can still hang :) Saturday was a back yard cook out in our neighboring city of Council Bluffs, IA and Sunday was full of worship, errands and cleaning like mad for our first open house- capped off by a great game via the College World Series!

The open house was OK enough- only 2 couples came through- just have to keep the hope alive- right? Good news: my house is immaculate- at least for now...

Nothing more to report today- Please pray for my friend Terry at work-- he's in such pain lately with a pinched sciatic nerve and for every day it gets better, the next week it's that much worse. Also, pray for Chris, my husband- I think the stress of the exams are luming over him and I'm sure I'm not helping as I pull him away from studying to join me in all these social outings... I just ask for the wisdom to leave him alone when he needs to focus!

Missing my Rock

Quick blog today, I promise- today was pretty much an uninteresting Monday, but I can feel that I've missed the past two Sundays at church. Just the way their messages fill you- focus you- I can tell that I am without. I'm looking forward to this restful and rejuvenating weekend!

Also, funny thing happened to me on the way home from work- I failed a pregnancy test. Long story short, deterrents are in place, but things break people! A stop at Target, paranoid search in the "weird stuff" aisles, imagined funny looks from people, a duck into the restroom and tah- dah- I'm the same as I was a day ago! I'm relieved, honestly- it would be a huge detour in my life right now. I'm just not ready, but it will happen one day (I promised my mother-in-law).

Blogging on the Run- actually created 6/17

The following was written yesterday as I finally got the chance to upload it. My deepest apologies about the wait...
_________________________________________________________________
So this is interesting- blogging while on the road while coming up from Kansas City-- Of course there is the fear of running out of free wi-fi service while among the rolling fields of Missouri and Iowa, so I’m creating this in Word, then I’ll transfer it over to blogger as soon as I get home. Road trips are typically fun, unless of course you are crammed in a car with your brother in law, his wife, their week’s worth of luggage from their honeymoon and our luggage for the weekend. Our trip was pretty strategic planned actually- we picked up Kevin and Lana from the airport at KCI went to the hotel in Lawrence (about half an hour outside Kansas City) Friday night. We pulled in just as they landed- despite Chris’ fear they would be waiting for us. Although we didn’t make it to the rehearsal dinner for the wedding we felt victorious in hitting all the other “gongs”. The time with our new in-law was pretty fun though- our conversations going from serious mom- related issues to “so, what are you going to do...set my ASS on fire?” (a great line from Super Troopers- if you haven’t seen it, you have to- it’s hilarious!!) This was bonding time- probably the only time I’ve spoken more than 10 words to Lana. She’s very quiet and keeps to herself, but I think I may have finally cracked the shell. Who knows…

We stayed at the Holiday Inn Convention Center in Lawrence- which is really interesting since I work at the same type of place in Omaha. This place was ok- but reminded me of my workplace sans the massive renovations. The wedding was fun- Chris and Kevin both were groomsmen and the wedding was a typical Catholic ceremony- long and boring. I did discover the ultimate in bad wedding stories, though—I met Kim, a wife of another groomsman, who works for Abbott Pharm (who, by the way, I may be working with on a meeting in Omaha—ha! Take that white board!) Those that came to the rehearsal dinner, all her friends, family, etc. got sick with food poisoning. No matter how bad I feel about a late photographer, a broken unity candle, even switching reception facilities at the last minute- I can’t imagine all my closest friends and family going through that.

On our way back we stopped at fireworks in Iowa. We won’t talk about how illegal these are in our state, or how crammed we are with an additional 5 bags of bulky boxes in our laps- but we HAD to get them! It’s a bit of a tradition every year to have a big 4th of July party at our house- Chris grills and we have as many friends and family that can make it. Since we technically live outside the city limits we’ve never had any problems with the fireworks.

Since my trip is about about at its end- I’m finishing this up—I’ve had good luck typing while in a moving vehicle and that luck too is coming to an end.

Hang On

My house has been on the market for officially 8 days and NO activity. Not one phone call, not one visit, not even one realitor stopped in during the real estate caravan- nothing. It's like it doesn't even exist- and yet I'm developing OCD when it comes to cleaning and staging. We take my dogs to my parents daily, just in case someone wants to stop in and I can't leave work to get them. I make the bed, vaccum, pick up everything, do the dishes, wipe down counter tops, clear the bathroom counters and dust almost every day. It's such a hassle to have the house visitor- ready EVERY DAY- and for what?! Chris helps when he can, but his studies are calling. After this weekend I fear he will not have any time for the extra things, let alone cleaning. I believe this will be a long haul, people. I just have to tell myself to hang on.

I found out today that my friend from work had her apartment broken in last night. The theif stole her laptop, digital camera, phone charger (who knew this would be of value- I mean, come on, unless you have the same Sprint Model A4000B-12 how could you use it- oh well, I guess when you're in a mad frantic search for things to steal, one grabs anything you can plug in...) They also stole her DVD player and printer (which she had so richly deserved as it was a gift from our client who didn't need it anymore- not expensive, but a memory).
When I heard about the ordeal, I was so hurt for her- thank God I've never had my house broken in to- but I have my car broken into back in highschool. I felt so violated! I can't imagine what it would have someone ransack your home! Of course, I was one of those people who tried to comfort her by reminding her it was just "stuff" and that she was lucky she was not hurt or anything, but I know my words fell of deaf ears, and I don't blame her. She's single, new to the area, new apartment in what is supposed to be a "up and coming" part of our city- and this is what happens. Worse of all, she's a statistic. Theft happens in every city, in every state. All I know is that my friend is fearful right now- and- all I can tell her is to hang on.

Happy Wedding

To Lana and Kevin- my most heartfelt wishes for a long and lasting love! Congrats on the wedding and we were honored to have participated!

This weekend was all wedding. Kevin, my brother in law finally wed his fiance, Lana after FOUR years of an engagement. She wanted to graduate before heading to the alter, which I can understand. The wedding really did go off without a hitch- unlike mine, which Chris and I talked about at length in the many car rides to Yutan, NE. We had the photographer that showed up 20 minutes late to the reception, putting us behind for pictures on the golf course and the party itself. There was the center pieces, which I thought would be unique and interesting as they were to be hung from the ceiling, that ultimately became an 8 hour project for the boys and a thorn in Chris' side as we walked in and saw them uneven due to the florist's unsteady hand and lack of the actual flowers I'd requested. There was the ruined first dance, that we had spent thousands on dance lessons for and choreographed for the audience, by Chris' misstep that broke the bustle on the dress which required me to hold my dress up for the remainder of "Come What May" (how fitting). Of course, how can we forget Chris shaking so hard that he broke his half of the unity candle, or the bridesmaid that spent 8 out of the 9 engagement months in Virginia, the mother-of-the- bride's dress that was ruined via an over anxious carpet layer, or even the last minute reception location change after I left my place of employment with the understanding I could still host the party there, only to get a letter two weeks later that it would be more than five GRAND more since they were going to void my employee discount (enter in the lawyers and well- placed wedding postponement (someone else, not ours) and we had ourselves (THANK GOD) a new reception location)!
Whew! I'd heard that the more problems with the wedding, the more blessings the couple will have in the marriage- or did I just make that up to muster up a smile?
In any case, the wedding is over and Kevin and Lana can now breathe a sign of relief that they can say the same about their own. I'm sure things went wrong that no one, even us, ever saw. Really, that is the point, to make sure everything looks effortless- although no one believes it is.
Next weekend is another fun filled weekend of wedding bliss. This time outside Kansas City, KS, where Chris' cousin Jeremy will marry his love, Jennifer. Chris, again, is a groomsman while my job is not really defined for this one. I'm sure something of menial importance will be delegated to me upon arrival.
Ultimately, weddings are good for everyone. It's great to see all the happiness in these families, I will say.
My God bless each of them on each of their days together, as He has bless mine.

Undercover Super Christian

Yesterday I became "trained" to help people if they choose to take Jesus as their Lord and Savior in their life. Seems like something you'd need another degree for, but no, just about an hour long session and you're all set! Louis Palau is coming to Omaha this summer and Chris and I volunteered to be counselors to those who answer the call to Christianity. I wasn't nervous going in (I'm a WOO, remember? {Winning Other's Over}-- it's supposed to be my #1 strength) but as I was thinking about it more and more, I got more insecure about my talents as a persuasive speaker. I have to remember that God is taking my words and do wonders with them in the hearts and minds of those I'm speaking to.
One of the pastors talked about bringing friends and family to the festival and that we don't have to wear our free visors around them (did someone say FREE visors??? Back off people, you have to be TRAINED!) - that we could take them off and go off being a "super christian" while undercover so that not to make our friends or family uncomfortable. Makes sense- I have a friend that may go to the festival that I think needs an intervention from Jesus himself- but it would be wonderful to be a part of leading someone to God.
Today, we all learned how 'People Notice' our behaviors and actions around the hotel and customer service means going the extra mile, etc. Frankly, after sitting for four hours going over this stuff, I wanted to put a bullet in my brain, but then again, it made the day go by pretty fast and can I tell you I LOVE texting-- nothing like complaining about the situation with the person across the room...
You know I noticed today that I hang out some of the most professed "intuitive" people that I've known, so it's interesting to hear what comes out of their mouth about me- especially re: the work place, but I'm finding that it's drives me crazy-- I get so wrapped up- almost paranoid- about how people take me, that I'm stuck between how I feel I should react to something and how I feel I should react to something. Either way, at the end of the day, I feel defeated. Why on earth do I care? Then again, I've always cared. How I've lived this long and done so well with caring this much about how people think of me is a mystery to me. I'm a professional, damn it and I do have self- esteem!!!!!! (ie. I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and gosh darn it, people like me!) And if you don't, well then you suck! :)

Signs of Change

So the sign went up yesterday- it signals a change in the air.



Side note: Is it me, or does spring always bring about such massive change personally and professionally for everyone? The hotel I've worked at for almost three years is going under a massive facelift (needed, but did I mention a chunk of Disney fall off in the back parking lot and named itself CoCo Key Water Resort?? Hello! Biggeest water resort in Nebraska- and I work there!) My market at work is changing- for the better mind you, but a lot of pride is in the files I'm handing over- and I'm finding it tough to call those clients.



The sign I'm referring to is our real estate sign- the pictures look really good, I'm pretty impressed, but it still means that I'm moving from the house I've lived in for three years. I know, it's not an eternity, but still-- I raised my two boys in that house... ok, they're dogs...but still...



I think I'd feel much better, probably excited, if I knew what I was going to do in the next chapter of my life. But, as I think about it, it's probably for the better. I need to focus on what I'm doing now-- not day dream about what the future could hold...



You know, I'm glad I'm blogging now- I think it could be therapeutic at this time. I named my blog footprints because as I was thinking about a name, I looked over and saw a bookmark someone had given me of the poem Footprints in the Sand. I think as I focus on all the changes happening around me, I know I need to realize God is there, every step of the way.

Footprints in the Sand
by Mary Stevenson

One night a man had a dream.
He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene, henoticed two sets of footprints in the sand: one belonging to him, and the other to the Lord.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his lifethere was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life.
This really bothered him and hequestioned the Lord about it.
"Lord, You said that once I decided to follow you, You'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me."

The Lord replied,"My son, My precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I Carried You."